Not in "the mood", acceptable?

This was brought up on another forum. Is it despicable for a woman to withhold sex from her husband solely based on not being in "the mood"? Things to consider.. Is it a woman's right to decline sex? Phrased differently, should a spouse withhold affection merely because they're "not feeling it"? For many men, sexual intimacy is the epitome of affection and closeness. Would it be acceptable for your husband or boyfriend to blow you off from hugs, kisses, or cuddling because he's not in the mood? Your thoughts, ladies!

The night before my wedding, my mother dearest told me this, "You should never, ever, for any reason withhold sex from your husband. No matter how rough of a day you've had, he needs it to relieve his stresses. If you do not, he will find it somewhere else." Well, that is the worst advice I have ever been given. 9 times out of 10 men will "take care of themselves" if rejected by their wives. I know my husband does and I don't care. We have a sex life, avid and fun. But with four kids, one with multiple special needs and our crazy schedules there are nights when I'm "not in the mood". He respects that and doesn't pressure me. However, if he excuses himself to shower shortly after I know why. LOL Sex isn't about the male or the female. It's about the couple as a united force. If you are having sex with your spouse to get it out of the way, then it's not real love making. It's following a schedule. Same thing with cuddling. There are times when my husband has had a long day at work, been bombarded by the kids when he gets home, and just need some space after they go to bed. I respect his need for personal space and wait until he's in a mood to have me popping his bubble like a mad woman. Those are my thoughts. <3

fertilemyrtle wrote:

The night before my wedding, my mother dearest told me this, "You should never, ever, for any reason withhold sex from your husband. No matter how rough of a day you've had, he needs it to relieve his stresses. If you do not, he will find it somewhere else." Well, that is the worst advice I have ever been given. 9 times out of 10 men will "take care of themselves" if rejected by their wives. I know my husband does and I don't care. We have a sex life, avid and fun. But with four kids, one with multiple special needs and our crazy schedules there are nights when I'm "not in the mood". He respects that and doesn't pressure me. However, if he excuses himself to shower shortly after I know why. ;)LOL Sex isn't about the male or the female. It's about the couple as a united force. If you are having sex with your spouse to get it out of the way, then it's not real love making. It's following a schedule. Same thing with cuddling. There are times when my husband has had a long day at work, been bombarded by the kids when he gets home, and just need some space after they go to bed. I respect his need for personal space and wait until he's in a mood to have me popping his bubble like a mad woman. Those are my thoughts. <3

Fert, I loved that post.


I agree whole-heartedly. I think part of having a successful and happy marriage is putting your spouse's needs before your own. For women, sex drives seems to be less of an issue but for men, it's a big one. I think a man that can hold his horses for a night or two when his significant other needs a break, is not only thoughtful, but really shows patience and understanding.